20 seems like a problematic number

20 years ago, right around this time, a little family was celebrating the birth of a female infant. Now, after growth took place, that thing is blowing out a 20-numbered candle and making 20 soundless wishes. 

For months now, the scary thought of turning 20 has been living rent-free in the back of her mind. What's so scary and so big about it? The uncertainties. Isn't it just the nature of the future? Well, it becomes scarier when you add 'turning 20' into the variables. It then again becomes way even scarier when you add responsibilities and expectations into the variables. At least that's the case for her. She has always been the most impatient about life and what it has to offer. Most of the time, she seeks challenges. She also gladly welcomes new chapters in her life. But for months now, she has been kind of cranky about this very idea of turning 20. 

20 seems like a very problematic number on today's episode.

But as she blows out the candle and makes desperate wishes, she comes to realize that the essence of embarking on this new age is not limited to merely today. It's not that tomorrow she will be 30 or something. She might not yet find the answers to the questions she has been asking, but at least she understands now that it's okay to take time. She has all the time to work on that. She might not yet deal with the haunting feelings and thoughts of aging, but at least she knows now that it's a normal thing in the human journey. She has all the time to sort things out.

This is a peaceful journal to compensate for all the hopeless bawls. This is an epigraph for her future self to go back in time. And this is also a mark of a beginning to be cherished.